Can I please call in sick?!

SICK, SICK, SICK, SICK
my whole family has been sick for what feels like forever. My poor two year old face was so red and sore from his eye and nose running. When I called the doctor all they can tell me it to spray simple saline up his nose. That only made his nose and eyes worse. Do these doctors have kids? So after a V     E     R     Y long week both kids are feeling better and they wanted to give me a gift for helping to make them feel better. My wonderful kids who I let wipe their noses on my shirt, cough in my face, keep my up all night, for doing all of this for them they decided to give me the gift of  yes you guessed it,the flu.
I do not think there is anything in the world worse then having the flu. Well maybe I could have the flu and be a man because if I had the flu and I was a man I am sure I would be dying, but that's a whole other story. No I am a mom with the flu. That means I have to do everything I would do if I didn't have the flu, but I have to do it feeling like shit. There should be so type 1-800-sick-mom line. You know you call in and they send in a sub, she comes in cooks, cleans, ands doing all your running while you lie in bed getting better. I think this is only fair. When the kids are sick we don't make them go to school. When my husband is sick I don't make him do things. Why does a mom have to do ALL the mom things when she is sick. Well I am protesting I'm going back to bed, this is my sick day.

Anal Therapy

I went to the doctors today. It was one of those kind of appt. you know the kind you can't wait to go to because you want to know what is wrong, but your scared to go to because of what could be wrong. My family has so much cancer in it that I really thought I was going to go there today and find out that she thinks that I may have a form of anal or rectal cancer. Well thank God no tumor. Just a humroid with a harmless small blood clot.We also talked about my constipation issue, she thinks I may have a palvic floor issue. If I do I will have to go to some sort of Physical Therapy to re-train my bum so that I can go. So next time I am having a bad day all I will have to think about is my for real anal therapy, and I am sure it will bring a smile to my face.

never grow up

your little hand's wrapped around my finger,and it's so quiet in the world tonight yourl little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming. So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light. To you everthing's funny you got nothing to regret. I'd give all I have, honey if you could stay  like that.
Oh darling don't you ever grow up
don't ever grow up,just stay little
oh darling, don't ever grow, don't you ever grow up
it could stay this simple, I won't  let nobody hurt you,
won't let no one break your heart and no one will desert you
just try to never grow up

you're in the car on the way to the movies and you're mortied your mom'sdropping you off at 14 there's just so must you can't do, and you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots but don't make her drop you off around the block rember that she's getting older too and don't lose the way that you dance around in your pj's getting ready for school
Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
just stay this little, oh darling, don't you ever grow up
don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
no one's ever burned you, nothing ever left you scarred
and even though you want to please try to never grow up
take pctures in your mind of your childhood room memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home remember the footsteps, remember the words said and your little brothers favorite songs I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone so here I am in my new apartment in a big city they just droppeed me off it's much colder than I thought it would be so I tuck myself in and turn my night light on
wish I'd never grown up, I wish I'd never grown up
oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
I could still be little,oh I don't wanna grow up
wish I'd never grown up, it could still be simple
oh darling don't ever grow, don't ever grow up
just stay this little, it could stay this simple
won't let nobody hurt, won't no one break your heart
and even though you want to please try to never grow up, never grow up


Taylor Swift
Speak Now 

Do Christian's Judge?

I went to a mother's group meeting today with my sister. I have gone before sometimes it is nice to see how other mothers think and feel about motherhood. It also gives Jonathan a chance to play with other children his own age too. So I went today and they had a speaker, from what I gather they don't have speakers very often lucky me I choose a day with a speaker. So I am sitting there and the first part is him talking about when our children become teenagers we will have to learn to speak to them in a new way. Well no shit, come on sweetie do it for mommy won't work anymore. I know that every generation has their own way of saying and doing things that make them, them and as a parent I will need to know how to relate to him. Not saying I will have to go out and party with my child because that will not happen and anyone that spends anytime with me will be very aware on how I feel about drugs. But anyway I was fine with that part of what he had to say. Then he started talking about how teens ofter talk about God in a very broad way and it like could be use to tell how they feel about any religion. He then went on tell a story about some people that had come knocking on his door from The Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints. He said they were not able to explain or express any type of person walk with the Lord in his eyes so there for their religion was wrong. So for me right there, is why I DON'T GO TO CHURCH.   It took me right back to one of my earlier post "Who is God"  I felt myself getting mad at him. Who was he to stand up there on his high horse and judge one-that what these people say is their personal walk with the Lord is not Personal enough to be a true one on one walk & two- to say that they should not worship the Lord they way that they choose to do. I can't find it my heart to believe that there is only one way to pray to God. That he can only have people call out to him in one voice. We where given free will, and with that free will came sin but it also came free will to worship God in hundreds of wonder ways. Some people need to stand sit stand sit and say and to you father over and over to feel like they are doing God's will, some have to face this way or that way and pray at this hour to feel that they are close to God, and the list can go on and on. I don't know who is right and who is wrong. He doesn't know either. We can not judge people unless we want them to judge us. We do not know. One day when get to haven and we are standing outside of gates and beside us is the Jewish man from down the road and the gate open and you both go walking in and look at each other like is this opening for me or you, and then a voice from off in the clouds calls to you laughing and simply replyes your silly humans come sit and have some tea you have so much steal to learn. I personally think that will be the biggest eye opening moment for humans as a race to realize that GOD LOVES ALL HIS CHILDREN, not just the "CHRISTIAN'S"

Bad day my ass!

Yesterday was one of the worse day I have had in a really long time. I woke up in a lot of pain. Every part of my body hurt. My fingers,arms, shoulders,neck,head,back I think you get what I mean. My mind felt like fog, every thought took forever to form in my mind. Everything I did took so long. Simple things on TV made me cry. I did not feel like myself to say the least. For some reason, something stupid John and I got into a fight and I just left the house. I got in the car I had no where I need or wanted to go. I didn't even feel up to driving. The car was a little low on gas, I didn't even have a dollar in my purse so first I had to go to the ATM and then to get gas. There where two Mexican men there getting gas too one of them kept pointing and laughing at me. I almost started crying while I was pumping gas. I have nothing bad to say about people talking in their native toung but if you are going to make fun of me on the worse day of my life at least say it so that I know what you are saying, if I have to try to figure it out I am sure what I come up with is going to be way worse.  I come straight come after that. This whole time I keep thinking he is going to call wondering where I went. This is the first time in ten years that I have just got up and left.  He never called. When I got home he didn't yell for me so I went looking for him. He was up-stairs on the computer. He just looked at he and said "H" and asked me and then asked me if I need anything. I said no and then started crying so hard that I was soon on the ground crying so hard that I could hardly breath. He tells me to go lay down, settle down, catch my breath and  clear my mind, 20 or so minutes later he is acting like nothing happened. So that's that the day moves on. No talking about it no more crying for me. I go to bed early. Thank God when I woke up today I was feeling better. I am on anti-depressant for pain management  so you tell my why do I now feel somewhat depressed., and have more down days. I guess it's like the wise old question" Mr. Owl. How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie roll center of a Tootsie role center of a Tootsie roll lollie pop?'

A Great Family Day

I had a great day today with my family. We took the boys ice skating. It was the first time for both of them. They both did really well. Jonathan our 2 year old was able to skate all by himself after a little help. I'm tired and worn out and ready to sleep for 2 days. I always feel great after spending the days with my family. I love being a mom.

I Shall Believe

I been reading some things that other women wrote that have fibromyalgia, and I have talked to some to. One thing that most of them have in common is that their husband or boyfriend left them. My husband and I have such a great relationship that and I don't think he is going anywhere. He really is my best friend. It is coming up on our 9th wedding anniversary. We meet when I was 19 well just before I turn 20 and thing took off like a wild fire. I moved in after only 3 months, he asked me to marry him 2 months later we started trying to have a baby that fall March 2002 we found out we there was a little one on the way got married on April 2, 2002. So in just one year we meet fell in love and got married. To this day my heart still skipped a beat when I look at him. His mom set us up kinda, see I worked with her he came walking in one day I looked at her said " Who the f*ck is that" she said "my son" later he asked her the same thing about me. He ended up asking me to dinner a few days later, and like I said things moved fast. He was everything I said I would never fall in love with. He was not my normal type. I think that is why we work. But I have to tell the truth after listening to all these women I wonder if he is going to get fed up with his 30yr old wife that is pain and complains about it. I don't know what I would do without him he is my soul mate. I was wild and out of control before I met him. He pulled me in, and showed me that I am worth being loved. So as we near are 9th wedding anniversary even if it's a lie say it will be alright and I shall believe

                                                            I SHALL BELIEVE
                                                                    by: Sheryl Crow


Come to me now
And lay your hands over me
Even if it's a lie
Say it will be alright
And I shall believe
I'm broken in two
And I know you're on to me
That I only come home
When I'm so all alone
But I do believe

That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
And I shall believe

Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it's true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key

That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me

Never again
would I turn away from you
I'm so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
And I do believe

That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won't give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe

This song keeps playing over and over in my mind. I need to get what those women keep saying out of my mind. I know what John and I have is something that many people only dream about.  He is the love of my life. I believe that we will be there holding each other when we are both in our 90's.

                                                                JD
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                                                               MD
                                                               4ever